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Jealousy [Aug. 29th, 2011|09:45 am]
[Current Mood |annoyedannoyed]

Ramadhan has come to an end. So far, this has yet to be my most memorable and meaningful Ramadhan. Why?? It's for me to know and you not to find out. bahhahaha..kejam tak? =p Kidding.. I'm not making huge leaps, just baby steps. Although i'm taking a step at a time, and the changes that i'm going though is not drastic...but it means alot to me. It’s a new beginning for me. Little things that i find amusing during this year Ramadhan is that i wasn't sleepy at all during Tarawih prayer throughout the month. It may sound simple... it is something to me.. because i have more understanding on the Ibadah. Ok, I shall stop here about my experience during Ramadhan. I don't feel like sharing here..

Actually I want to talk about jealousy today. Life is funny sometimes. People are funny. It wouldn’t be life if everyone is perfect, think the same way, have the same principle, act the same way, have the same opinion, agreeing to every single thing, etc... oh that would be a boring life, right?  So, we need all the flaws & conflicts to give a little bit of spices in our life. If we were to choose between being right and being wrong.. I would say 99.9% wants to be right. Meaning doing the right thing either by religion, law, or civilization. Nobody wants to be heading the wrong way. So I guess people will be competing against each other to be on top of everything. Well, that’s good. We all should change for the better. But do you all know that when we try to improve ourselves or do something good, someone is not happy with that. And it’s not Satan. It is someone very close to you that is always revolves in your daily life. I’m not saying all, but there are some. These people are JEALOUS of you.
There are two type of person, person that have a problem with you, and a person that is just psychologically sick.

Well of course the people that have problems with you don’t want you to be ahead of them. (Why do they feel that we are ahead of them anyway??) They will go on and on and on and on bragging about all the good things they’ve done. The major signs is that they start COMPARING. O yeahh.. They will compare from things like who contributed more to the little things like whose dress is more beautiful. SHOWING OFF is another syndrome of jealousy. They like to brag about all the good things that happened to them, brag about their fortune and luck on how Allah has rewarded them. As a person, we can differentiate when people are actually sharing stories because they are truly happy or just to show off. I always welcome people to share their happy stories with me, I love listening to stories... but I can smell when it is just pure showing off.

Psychologically sick. Kind of a harsh word right? haha. This type of people only wants the world to see them as are the only good person. Nobody is better than them. Of course they will deny it because they want to be seen as a holy person, remember?? They won’t brag out loud. They get jealous if you get praise by someone, and that it is not them that people are praising. They will try anything to get people to notice how wonderful they are. Attention seeker. It’s a mental sickness really. If they were actually a holy person, they would have wanted everyone around them to improve with them.

"Kalau hidup hanya mencari penghargaan manusia tidak kekal lama jika cari redha Allah akan kekal bahagia dan tenang. "

But it all come down to being PATIENCE with the temperament of people around us.. fa sobrun jamil ~ =))

Being patience may seems like a never ending thing to do.. but there is always something good that came out of it whether it is sooner or later..

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mouth watering [Jul. 30th, 2011|10:50 pm]
[Current Mood |hungryhungry]

In conjunction with Ramadhan around the corner, I want to blog about food!! hehe.. Don't take this personally okay?? It's not that I put food as a priority during this month, I just want to blog about food. That's all. I'm sure all you Muslim know your responsibilities during this beautiful month of Ramadhan to bring ourselves closer to Allah SWT. InsyaAllah =))

Back to food!!

Let me tell you what type of person I am when it come to eating out. I'm the type of person that does not like to explore from one restaurant to another. I would rather settle to a place that I really really love. It frustrated me when I try a new restaurant that doesn't really taste that good, worst...it taste awful!! So I like to play things safe by just dining in where I know it will definitely satisfy my taste bud! =)

I will only go to a new places If someone whom I trust their taste bud said that IT IS AN AWESOME PLACE TO TRY!! Then I will go. If i were to make a random pick.. not in a million years. Or else I will totally regret!

Here's the place where I REALLY REALLY enjoy my food.. My top 10 Place to eat!!

1. Nando's <---forever in my heart
2. Ayam Penyet Ria
3. Chilli's
4. Tony Roma's
5. Mali's Corner
6. Nasi Kukus Bukit Damansara
7. Akasia Cafe USJ
8. Laman Grill Shah Alam
9. Subway
10. O'Briens

*not in order

That's about it.. hahaha.. If I went out with my boyfriend.. It always revolve around these place... there are other few places..but i can't recall now. I'm sooo lazy to think now.  You said that it's bored to eat at the same place??? Well at least I LOVE what I'm eating =))

I have a taste bud of a food critics, and I'm a tough one to get through! haha..*masak sendiri tak pandai, ade hati nak critic2*
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To kill or not to kill. [Jul. 15th, 2011|07:23 am]
[Current Mood |angryangry]


I read the comment on Blog Serius recent entry about taking care a paralyze lion. Most of the comment i read are very negative, which they criticize the act of the owner not to put the lion to sleep. Instead keeping it alive is suffering the lion.

Actually, that entry really touches my heart because it reminded me of something very dear to me. If you've been reading my journal, you will know that i once had a cat name Meg Ryan. She too suffer the unknown disease that causes her to paralyze gradually. At first we notice that something was wrong with her when she only blink with one eye. We immediately took her to the vet when we notice that. The doctor gave her medicine, and it seems like the medicine is working because she blinks both eyes after that. After couple of days, it happened again. Only this time it took effect on more parts of her body. She loose balance, she lost senses of half of her face, then it took effect to her body just over a month. Half of her body is paralyze from head to toe. For over a month, i took care of her like a little baby. Feed her, took her to the litter box ( she only pee and berak only when I took her to the litter box. What a smart and obedient cat.) Towards the end of the month, i had to take her to the vet every two days.

Most of you will question me,  WHY DO I KEEP HER ALIVE??? YOU ARE SUFFERING HER. IF SHE CAN TALK, SHE WOULD HAVE WANTED YOU TO LET HER DIE!

Let me ask you this,
HOW DO YOU KNOW SHE WOULD SAY THAT??

I don't know what is the story behind the lion's story. But in my case, MEG WANTED TO LIVE!!

A week after we know something was wrong with her, we notice that she couldn't hardly walk properly. Suddenly she disappear for a couple of days. When a cat disappear suddenly, it means that they are looking for a burial for themselves. A cat will not want to die in front of their owner.  So we thought, maybe Meg was dying, that's why she didn't came back.

BUTTTT, she came back!!! it was 1 - 2 in the morning, my dad was talking with his friends at the porch. He was quite load since it was after midnight. Suddenly my dad saw Meg at the end of the street walking towards him slowly, weakly and unsteadily like a drunk cat. Only to notice that her condition was worsen from the last time we saw her. She couldn't barely meoww.

To those that question me, let me ask you this, WHY DID SHE CAME BACK?????? WHYY?? 

If she wanted to die, she would had just die out there. But she came back!!! Being so weak, she gather all her will to walk toward her owner!! So do you think she wanted to die just yet. It seems that she wanted her owner to take care of her.

If you say, SHE WOULDN'T HAVE LIVE THAT LONG IF YOU DIDN'T FORCE HER TO EAT!!

You are wrong again...
She could barely swallow water because half her face was paralyze, but she manage to live. WHY??

BECAUSE SHE HAS A STRONG WILL TO LIVE. WHY SHOULD I PUT A CAT TO SLEEP WHILE SHE IS TRYING SO HARD TO LIVE!!


Now shut up!
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Is it worth it?? [Jun. 27th, 2011|11:51 pm]

Hey journal,

It's been a while since i blog, the last few entry doesn't count as blogging. I just post that stuff here to share with you guys on things that i find good to know. For the last few months I’ve been realllly busy with school work. Second semester is one heck of a crazy semester. Lots of assignments with no semester break. I just finished with my final exam, and i hope everything that i work for this semester paid off. I think i’ve been working my ass off day and night; I even had to go to the faculty on the weekends to finish off my work with my classmates. I don’t think I went out for leisure with my friends even once this semester. Haih. I hope they understand.  My family don’t understand that, so I just hope my friend does. That’s the only hope I have.


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Never lose hope, [Jun. 21st, 2011|07:26 pm]
[Current Mood |touchedtouched]

Talking with Allah SWT is extremely helpful because He is the one whom we can communicate whenever we want to, and He is the one whom we can understand us the best, and He is also the one who can guide us the best.
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Don't go yapping all your good deeds~ [May. 27th, 2011|11:20 pm]

Perbuatan yang iklas ibarat seperti "mengeluarkan sedekah dengan tangan kanannya, sementera tangan kirinya tidak mengetahui."

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Belajar menjadi ikhlas ? Ya . Kenapa saya katakan demikian , coz ikhlas ini perlu belajar dan ikhlas juga mesti dilatih pada hati kita !

Bukan senang untuk dapatkan keikhlasan hati . Berapa ramai dalam kalangan kita melakukan sesuatu pekerjaan kerana ALLAH . Anda ikhlas ? Saya tidak kata anda salah satunya . Baguslah kalau kita yakin kita melakukan kerja dengan ikhlas . Tapi semakin kita katakan yang kita ikhlas , semakin keikhlasan itu lari daripada kita .


Ikhlas ni adalah sesuatu perkara yang sangat susah untuk kita dapat . Hatta kalau kita dapat sekalipun , ikhlas itu takkan kekal lama , 'dia' akan datang dan pergi . Keikhlasan hati itu akan sentiasa berperang dengan diri kita .


Andai kita sedang yakinkan diri ketika kita tengah berperang antara ikhlas dan ria' , itulah ikhlas . Contohnya , kalau kita tersedar apa yang kita buat bukan kerana ALLAH , tapi ada unsur-unsur duniawi atau kerana manusia , kita pon try untuk ubah niat 'aku buat kerana ALLAH' . Masa kamu melawan ria' itulah ikhlas , kerana kamu berusaha menjauhkan diri kamu daripada ria' .


Apabila kita melakukan sesuatu untuk kepentingan diri , hawa nafsu dan dunia , keikhlasan itu akan lari daripada kita . Contohnya , seseorang yang berdakwah di bawah jamaah , boleh jadi apa yang dia buat bukan kerana ALLAH tapi kerana jemaah itu sendiri . Sebab itu kita kena berhati-hati dengan niat . Sentiasa tajdid niat kerana ikhlas itu datang dan pergi .


Orang yang dah berkali-kali melakukan kebaikan yang sama pun kena sentiasa tajdid niat , kerana apa yang saya katakan , IKHLAS DATANG DAN PERGI !

Contohnya wanita yang memakai purdah , pada mulanya memang niat kerana ALLAH . Sampai satu masa , dia perasan bahawa ramai orang yang memandang dia bila memakai purdah , mungkin timbul perasaan bahawa dia adalah orang yang 'alim' dalam kalangan mereka yang lain atau dia kelihatan cantik bila memakai purdah dan semenjak itu si dia suka sangat memakai purdah tanpa sedari sudah lari dari niat asal . Ikhlas tu lagi lah hilang . See ? Betapa pentingnya kita untuk tajdid niat setiap hari .

Salah satu ciri orang yang ikhlas , dia akan lupa pada kebaikan yang pernah dia buat pada waktu lepas dan tidak pernah mengungkit-ungkit kebaikan yang dilakukannya kepada orang lain . Firman ALLAH dalam surah al-Baqarah ayat 264 ;

"Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! Jangan rosakkan (pahala amal) sedekah kamu dengan perkataan membangkit-bangkit dan (kelakuan yang) menyakiti, seperti (rosaknya pahala amal sedekah) orang yang membelanjakan hartanya kerana hendak menunjuk-nunjuk kepada manusia (riak), dan ia pula tidak beriman kepada Allah dan Hari Akhirat"

Niat kita juga tidak boleh dicampurkan antara akhirat dan duniawi . Saya bagi satu analogi , terdapat satu gelas air kosong yang sangat jernih airnya , kemudian kita mencampurkan air itu dengan air teh . Pasti kejernihan air kosong tadi tercemar akibat warna air teh yang dicampurkan tadi . Nampak tak kesannya apabila kita campur-adukkan sesuatu perkara . Buatlah sesuatu perkara kerana ALLAH sahaja . InsyaALLAH kamu akan mendapat kebaikan dunia dan akhirat

Nak menjaga niat ini merangkumi semua perkara , sampaikan kita sedih pun ALLAH menilai niat kesedihan kita itu . Adakah kamu menangis kerana ALLAH atau kerana dunia semata-mata ? Apakah sebab kesedihan kamu dek kerana gagal dalam peperiksaan ? Adakah malu pada kawan-kawan ? Atau sedih sebab akan lambat untuk habiskan madah ? Maka , kamu hanya mendapat kesedihan sahaja , tidak memberi apa-apa manfaat pada ALLAH .

Pada zaman nabi , terdapat satu kisah para sahabat menangis kerana ALLAH .

Dan tidak juga berdosa orang-orang yang ketika mereka datang kepadamu (memohon) supaya engkau memberi kenderaan kepada mereka, engkau berkata: “Tidak ada padaku kenderaan yang hendak kuberikan untuk membawa kamu”, mereka kembali sedang mata mereka mengalirkan air mata yang bercucuran, kerana sedih bahawa mereka tidak mempunyai sesuatupun yang hendak mereka belanjakan (untuk pergi berjihad pada jalan Allah)
[at-Taubah : 92]

Betapa hebatnya mereka menangis kerana ALLAH . Pernah tak kita sedih sebab sesuatu perkara kerana ALLAH ? Apabila kita gagal dalam peperiksaan , pernah tak kita menangis sebab kita akan lambat habis belajar untuk berdakwah pada masyarakat ? Astaghfirullah al'azim . Saya sendiri tidak pernah terfikir .

Ketahuilah , setiap musibah yang ALLAH beri pada kita ada 3 sebab ;
menguji kita samada kita beriman dan sabar dengan ujian ataupun tidak .

"Adakah patut kamu menyangka bahawa kamu akan masuk syurga, padahal belum sampai kepada kamu (ujian dan cubaan) seperti yang telah berlaku kepada orang-orang yang terdahulu daripada kamu? Mereka telah ditimpa kepapaan (kemusnahan hartabenda) dan serangan penyakit, serta digoncangkan (oleh ancaman bahaya musuh), sehingga berkatalah Rasul dan orang-orang yang beriman yang ada bersamanya: Bilakah (datangnya) pertolongan Allah?” Ketahuilah sesungguhnya pertolongan Allah itu dekat (asalkan kamu bersabar dan berpegang teguh kepada ugama Allah)"
[al-Baqarah : 214]

sebagai kafarah dosa-dosa kita yang dahulu .
ALLAH rindu permohonan dan doa hambanya .


Oleh itu , sentiasa berbaik sangkalah pada ALLAH dan perbaharuilah niat kita setiapa hari , setiap masa dan setiap saat . Semoga kebaikan yang kamu lakukan dilihat ALLAH dan bernilai di sisi-Nya .

Saya nak kongsikan satu hadis yang bagi saya sangat memberi kesan pada diri .


Dari Umar bin Khattab meriwayatkan bahawa pada suatu hari dia pergi ke Masjid Nabawi dan mendapati Muadz bin Jabal sedang duduk dekat kubran Rasulullah SAW sambil menangis . Umar bertanya padanya , "apa yang menyebabkan engkau menangis?" Muadz menjawab , "aku menangis kerana sesuatu yang telah ku dengar dari Rasulullah SAW bersabda , "sesungguhnya seringan-ringan ria' adalah syirik , dan sesngguhnya barangsiapa yang memusuhi wali ALLAH , maka sesungguhnya ia telah menyatakan perang kepada ALLAH . Sesungguhnya ALLAH mencintai orang-orang yang suka berbuat amal solih , yang selalu takut (kepada-Nya) , dan yang tidak terkenal . Apabila mereka tidak hadir , mereka tidak pernah dicari , dan apabila mereka hadir , mereka tidak pernah dipanggil dan tidak dikenal . Hati mereka laksana peliya-pelita hidayah , mereka keluar dari segala debu-debu kegelapan ."

[Ibnu Majah,Thabrani,Hakim]


Pada zaman dahulu , kebanyakan mereka yang menulis buku tidak meletakkan nama mereka kerana dikhuatiri akan timbul ria' . Mereka lebih mementingkan niat mereka iaitu untuk berdakwah tanpa ingin dikenali . Berbanding dengan zaman sekarang ini , berapa ramai yang belajar dengan ikhlas ? Berapa ramai yang pergi ke majlis-majlis ilmu kerana ALLAH atau hanya ingin dikenali sebagai orang yang alim ?

Ingatlah , penyakit ria' itu sangat-sangat ditakuti Rasulullah SAW .

“Adakah kamu mahu aku memberitahu kamu tentang suatu perkara yang aku takuti ke atas kamu daripada dajal? Mereka menjawab: Sudah tentu wahai Rasulullah! Baginda pun berkata:” Syirik khafi(ria') iaitu seorang lelaki bangun bersembahyang lalu dia memperelokkan sembahyangnya kerana ada orang yang memerhatikannya.”
[Riwayat Ibnu Majah]


Ikhlas itu adalah penilaian Allah .
Kita tidak tahu sejauh mana rasa itu ada dalam diri .
Dia lah yang maha mengetahui.

Yakinlah pada DIA .
Tetapkan hati .
Trust Him with all your heart .

Source: Jalan Cahaya
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minta puji.. [May. 17th, 2011|02:19 pm]
[Current Mood |relaxedrelaxed]

Seeking approval..

Winning approval and respect from others and wanting it have very little in common. When we're willing to go the extra mile - to be or to do what is true, especially if there's a personal cost attached to it - others see our sacrifice and their approval is a spontaneous reaction to seeing excellence in action. Enjoyment of this kind of approval is both natural and non-binding. But if our initial wish is to attract attention or applause, then we're doing what we're doing for all the wrong reasons. Then we have neither good works, nor respect. Here's why this is true:

Approval may be awarded, but never sought. The approval we seek makes us debtors of our own fearful feelings - and of whomever makes us temporarily forget these fears. We must be very alert to the whole process of peer approval. Cunning human beings understand just how deep and strong run the forces that drive us to look for approval from others. They use this knowledge of our weakness for their own gain. Only higher self-awareness which produces active inner-alertness can keep us safe from these unconscious and misguided self-betraying forces - as well as from those who would use them against us. Increase your effort to be aware of yourself around others, and instead of seeking approval, use your energy to watch the approval-seeking self.


source: life of learning foundation
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Doctor of Philosophy [May. 9th, 2011|08:50 pm]
[Current Mood |amusedamused]



Imagine a circle that contains all of human knowledge:


By the time you finish elementary school, you know a little:


By the time you finish high school, you know a bit more:


With a bachelor's degree, you gain a specialty:


A master's degree deepens that specialty:


Reading research papers takes you to the edge of human knowledge:


Once you're at the boundary, you focus:


You push at the boundary for a few years:

Until one day, the boundary gives way:


And, that dent you've made is called a Ph.D
.:

Of course, the world looks different to you now:




So, don't forget the bigger picture:

 
 
 You see, having a Ph.D. does not means you know everything, you're just specialized.
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the trouble with clothes. [Apr. 22nd, 2011|01:49 am]
[Current Mood |grumpygrumpy]



When we have a tall slim body, it's always easy to find clothes that fits us. Not only that, it will automatically looks good on us even though its a piece of shit design. You can say that i am being shallow..well, it's the reality people. Yes, there are short, fat, ugly people that looks good and fashionable. But they can't just put on anything that will looks good on them. They (me) have to try really hard to make sure the color matches the skin, the cutting of the clothes is suitable for their type of body, clothes that will not make them look even shorter, and the list goes on. It's a hassle to find clothes if you don't  have the nice figure. Even if you want to buy an Abaya, for an XS size girl like me it's damn hard!! Even if there is a small size Abaya, we still need to send it to the tailor.

Look at the clothes the model above wear. I would love love love love to put that on on me. I wish to dress up like that. You know, i went to Marc & Spencer last month and i find out they have the most fashionable pants, not the typical type of pants at an affordable price. But pity me, the smallest size they have is size 8! I might need size 6 or 5. grrrrr. If i were to tailor-made it myself, it would not have the same cutting. and it would probably cost more. Back to the picture above, i don't think they have all that piece the girl is wearing from head to toe with my size. The shoe!! oh that's a nightmare for me. Care to tell me wear to find fashionable and comfortable size 3 shoes??? thank you.

yes i'm complaining but at the same time i love being small! HAHA. What a twisted little girl,
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Not so fun anymore.. [Apr. 21st, 2011|10:45 pm]
[Current Mood |annoyedannoyed]


Blogging is fun. We can write anything that came across our mind, gives opinion on certain issues, express our feelings on things that we can't let out personally to people, and rant rant rant on stuff (like i'm doing now). But today, it's not fun anymore. Notice that i always write everything on the surface now? yeah. I just feel so suffocated with all the people around me, being so judgmental, sensitive, and criticism towards what i wrote. 7 years ago blogging is like writing in a diary. The readers will be people that you know, and we can blog sincerely without trying to kiss other people ass. Back those days people blog just because they want to write, express themselves, share things with their friends.

It's totally different now. It just make me wanna puke! So many wanna-be trying to please people around them chasing popularity and trying to increase their blog traffic. yeah yeah yeah.. different people have different purpose, which is kinda annoying to me. Those two-face goody two-shoe. Why oh why, people these days do things because they want something in return.

It's hard to find a good ready material blog these days. (Yes, i know my blog is not one of them thank you). Most of the otai blogger already stop blogging, i guess they are just tired with today's blogging scenario too. Where has all the good writers gone??????? In my blog list, i think there's less than 8 of them that are still active since 5-6 years ago, i mean active with good reading materials. As in like educational, grammatically well written, and inspiring. Bravo for you guys!

Ohh, I have been ranting out off the topic. Opps! What I wanna say is, Everything you see here is just the surface. Why? I just don't like that one specific person to know about my life. Nosy! You are such a hypocrite!

p/s: Firdaus aka Mr.Boyfy and Affan! IT'S NOT YOU GUYS OKAY!! I don't care what u say about me cause I can beat u guys up back after that. =p
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